I was slapped hard rite in the face

A letter to him.
For you : Pardon my using English. I know you don't prefer it that way, but to me there's no better way to say it.

It trips me just now.
We're never gonna be the same again.
We're too far away.
It's becoming useless to dream.
I'm even too lazy to imagine.
Time is so cruel, to not let this be taken away from me after so long.

Now I just wanna be that 'less than a friend', in your blind spot where you'll never see.
I wanna be just like one of those friends in your friendster list that you never actually interact with.
I'm just too tired, I shall say "OK, if that should be the case, I have nothing against it."
We're never gonna laugh the same way anymore anyway. There's absolutely no point.
Coz I know you ain't like what you really are when you talk to me.
I hate that we should be so distant.
All are gone; suddenly there's this big thick wall between us.
We both built it up in the first place.
The word you use to call me changes and you would never tell me stories anymore.
Sadly and surprisingly I have no objections to it.
I'm listless...

Frankly speaking, actually I was so happy to be able to be in contact with you once more.
I was really looking forward to it.
But now, after said-and-done, I see that it's good for both of us to erase each other from each other's live.
Coz to me it's better than a brief empty conversation that I'm also happy to end.
Feeling relieved when stop talking just because I hate the coldness we have for each other.
Time difference never kills me, I consider myself as a person who always wins against it.
It's how the way we are now that kills me.
I don't blame it on you, because maybe this is just how we should be.
We are never destined to work us out, and never destined to at least be that kinda friends again, too.

So, hello again and goodbye.
I still wish "life to be kind to you" as always. Hope you wish me the same.
I'll stop moving on, only to run faster, so that I can 'more-quickly' forget.

:'(



"We used to harmonize, two souls in perfect time
Now the song is different and the words don't even rhyme
Cause you forgot the melody our hearts would always croon
So what good's a heart that's slightly out of tune?"
~ Desafinado (Slightly Out of Tune), as sung by Ella Fitzgerald