He, that man who loves me

How people love others usually are shown differently. Well, my dad? I just saw it now. Really, just now. Well, he is extraordinarily stubborn. Sometimes he will just don't care about what other people say. That's him and that's where my stubborn-ness comes from. He's a difficult person, very, sometimes harsh too, but NEVER violent (because we'll all be afraid just at the very second he is angry, so we'll obey him riteaway, but I'm sure he'll never be violent if we don't have such obedience). Well, just now I had different argument with what he has. I know deep within his heart he knows mine makes sense, but didn't agree riteaway. This is an important matter, not because of the event itself, but the attitude towards something, that might repeat itself in the future. I realize no matter how hard I try, if he doesn't change, then all my efforts will all be useless, and I don't have a lot of time. 1 more year, that's all I have.

He called me again. He, at last, with less emotion pointed out his reasonings, why he thinks a certain way instead of the other. But at last, he said that it's up to me to decide. That's the key for me, that's the support I've been waiting for. I need him to trust me. It's not like I'm fleeing into obscurity or something like that. He knows what I'm gonna do will help me support my future. He says if I think it's the best for me, then it's my call.

How he changes himself, his stubborn-ness, to further think (with the big effort of my mom to help him - pretty sure about it), and how he says it back to me (though still with all the dignity and stuffs)... I know he wouldn't do it if he doesn't love me. Well, some of his reasonings opened my eyes too, I got his points, I then also understand why. But, listening to him saying that it's all up to me, I know there these words come along "I love you, then I trust you".

About the event itself, I don't know if it'll really happen or not. I know I want it though it will eat a year out of me. I want to do something rite, something I've been learning, to test out what I know, something hopefully familiar to me. This sounds like dreaming, but lookin again I'll be with some people who knows what they are doing and what different does it make to have their things done or not, and above of all, it's MAYBE something that's close to me, my field, something I personally chose. If it turned out to be bad, that's a real life situation too, rite? It's my decission. If don't get it at the first place, at least I have his words that he trusts me, then I'll do my best to try again, though I don't have a lot of time... That's the most important one. Events might come and go, but after all we're a family who supports each other.

I believe, there aren't a lot of things that change a really significant personal part of someone. I believe this is the good one. I love you, dad.