40/125
40 dari 125. Berapa persen tuh? Hmm *cari TI-89 dulu*... 32%!!
Hmm, sekitar sepertiga dari hari2 gw selama setaon (sampe hari ini, ini termasuk) gw ngomongin hal yang sama (mgkn dengan cara yang berbeda2). 40 posting dari 125 blog entry gw selama setaon (yup I counted them one by one!). Separah itu apah?! No wonder sering banget blog gw mellow. Coz maybe I'm just not a happy person by default.
Yak kemaren ngobrol sama Manda, banyak (yang harusnya bikin peer CBE 440 -> kelar koq peernya! :) ). Lucu sih. Well mgkn dah lama aje ga ngobrol sama dia tentang hal ini juga. Yeaaah, gw makin menyadari, I can never feel complete, coz I'm a woman of the past. Bodohnya...
Mgkn skrg gw lebih ngerasa welcomed ngobrol sama my beloved sister about past things (dan ada terkadang ada tersirat how we wish it to be again that way) daripada to be in a big crowd yang mgkn ada ato ga ada gw, mgkn ga penting. A world with less me never hurts anyways. Maybe I'm just simply becoming older and calmer? Well maybe... or not.
Well I guess it's never good to be a woman of the past, betapapun menyenangkannya. Maybe that's why I always feel I don't run a happy life, that my life really sucks, that I feel more and more not belong to the world, coz I just simply cannot see my future in it. I don't look forward to anything. Any single thing that triggers me to happiness can never attract me long enough... That's my fault.
It's been more than a year, and that's just how long I've been hiding and being a mellower version of what I am supposed to be... To wake up is too hard. To decide to wake up, that's even harder.
32%, is not even half, but too much of a portion in my life.
Hmm, sekitar sepertiga dari hari2 gw selama setaon (sampe hari ini, ini termasuk) gw ngomongin hal yang sama (mgkn dengan cara yang berbeda2). 40 posting dari 125 blog entry gw selama setaon (yup I counted them one by one!). Separah itu apah?! No wonder sering banget blog gw mellow. Coz maybe I'm just not a happy person by default.
Yak kemaren ngobrol sama Manda, banyak (yang harusnya bikin peer CBE 440 -> kelar koq peernya! :) ). Lucu sih. Well mgkn dah lama aje ga ngobrol sama dia tentang hal ini juga. Yeaaah, gw makin menyadari, I can never feel complete, coz I'm a woman of the past. Bodohnya...
Mgkn skrg gw lebih ngerasa welcomed ngobrol sama my beloved sister about past things (dan ada terkadang ada tersirat how we wish it to be again that way) daripada to be in a big crowd yang mgkn ada ato ga ada gw, mgkn ga penting. A world with less me never hurts anyways. Maybe I'm just simply becoming older and calmer? Well maybe... or not.
Well I guess it's never good to be a woman of the past, betapapun menyenangkannya. Maybe that's why I always feel I don't run a happy life, that my life really sucks, that I feel more and more not belong to the world, coz I just simply cannot see my future in it. I don't look forward to anything. Any single thing that triggers me to happiness can never attract me long enough... That's my fault.
It's been more than a year, and that's just how long I've been hiding and being a mellower version of what I am supposed to be... To wake up is too hard. To decide to wake up, that's even harder.
32%, is not even half, but too much of a portion in my life.
posted by siduahuruf @ 10:04 p. m.
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