Tears

Seems like I'm facing what ma cousin's facing. "Waiting for those tears to come. Those tears that have hidden away deep inside, somewhere lost among the sea of emotions. Somewhere deep from that void I continue to let grow in me." That's what she wrote.

Breakin down and cry... This is me, what I am feeling and feeling to do.

I know that I am the mellow one, but these 2 days have been one of ma down low points. When I saw my own reflection, I recognized that face, the one that usually is forced to hide, waitin chances to reveal itself. I rarely allow it to be there, but now I am feeling like having no other options. I have to let it show now or me myself will suffer the effort of covering it. My mellowness let me always being need to hide, almost all of me. Have to wear a nice mask, part of which I desparately hope is my real me, part of which I trully hate sometimes.

There's a point when I need to cry, so then it washes away my disturbed feelings. Am I normal, anyway? I am supposed to be happy this time, remembering what happened to me, but I am just not able.

Need to talk, but can't explain. Need ears but can't give away my voice. Need a heart, but can't open mine wide. Maybe I just simply need to cry...