Strongest memory

Research says that smell is the most powerful way to remember something, just simply tightly related with memories.

Well, I guess my strongest memory doesn't come from what I smell. Well, odor stays up in my mind and easily reminds me of certain things, but for me, it's just not the 'it'.

I sang, then I was reminded of everything : How I miss him badly and how things were. I always wish for something that I could do to change whatever that hurted. How he used to sing the exact same lines I just sang recently and how his expressions (to which I always paid attention) was when he sang 'em, those stay longer in my head to me. I always hope that he would be still there, holding me in his arms while singing the always-hit-me-bad-now tunes. I will never forget those breathes he took in between some sentences; I can always hear 'em clearly. I know all these are just memories (a.k.a past), but I always feel 'em as vivid as how it would be if they occured just now. Not even a small piece of these faded away.

I wouldn't cry, because I promised myself not to, no matter how bad it hits me. Anyways, I am too absorbed with all these to even let myself cry because of sadness. Maybe the problem is always when I was pulled back again to reality, that now I am singing those tunes alone.

Once I said to my friend,
"If someone ever wants to take my heart away, music is the path. He doesn't only know the path well; he also sings along with it." I know he maybe never overcrossed the path intentionally. I'm not sure if he still sings along with it or not, but one thing I still know for sure is that he's still there, somewhere very unique and special in my path.