Turning point

I'm just at that point, when I think I'm better and able to move on with my life.

White Hershey's
Warm bubble bath with my best choice of relaxing music
Lotsa hugs from my brother
Lotsa chitchats and tears together to let go with my sisters who care a lot for me
2 week load of engineering business
The crazy surprise party and very lovely birthday gifts
A full-of-love-and-hope selfmade birthday cake
Birthday cards full of my friends' wishes

I don't think I can ever ask for more than this, I feel like having the whole world. I regain my stupid but frank smile.

Just at that point, I thought I was just ready to take things more easily.

Then, More Than Words by Frankie J, looking at MLB program at the corner TV at Red Robin's, the CD of the sound of seawaves of mine, some phrases by my friends, and a short walk at Frozen Food's aisles at Woodmans, all hit me hard on the back of my head. I'm not that strong; some things won't just be handled by a very cozy and soothing warm shower.

Gladly I also realize that this is just something I can't hide from. The fact is the more I try to get away from it, the more I get myself into it. I think I'll just let a part of me hold tight to the scars left in me about it. The other part of me will always remind me of how prescious my real surrounding is. Hopefully both will balance out well. I've been trying not to cry anymore, and I succeed so far. I wanna see this as a pressure no more. I wanna worry less and I will give a lil part of me for everything of my friends. Though some things are just unforgettably too significant, I'll always find something more in life also worths doing.

"I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry"
(Burn - Usher)